That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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