You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
