Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
