do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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