So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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