I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
