is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
