i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
