In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
People in love make me want to vomit
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
