from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
