you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
