I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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