Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
