I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
