He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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