i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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