I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
