is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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