Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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