I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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