she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
