she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
