The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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