Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
