Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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