i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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