i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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