The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
