i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
His nipple licking is glorious
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