is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
