My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
