The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
