Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
from now on my penis is your penis
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
