She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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