New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
