is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
