and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
