I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
