I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
