I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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