White coat. Heels.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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