I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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