How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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