Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
That's when you crack a 10am beer
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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