I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
