Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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