i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Your penis caused this!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
