Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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