he thought i was a dude.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize