found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize