you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
