so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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